Sunday, December 22, 2019

Resource List

Resources Recommended by/for Women Supporting a Loved One Ensnared in Pornography/Sex Addiction

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints RESOURCES

  1. Addiction Recovery: https://addictionrecovery.churchofjesuschrist.org/?lang=eng\
  2. Support for Family & Spouses of Addict:  https://addictionrecovery.churchofjesuschrist.org/spouses-and-families?lang=eng\
  3. Podcasts of Real, recorded Women's Spouse & Family Support Meetingshttps://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/inspiration/latter-day-saints-channel/listen/collection/womens-spouse-and-family-support-meeting?lang=eng
  4. Self-Help Resource: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/addressing-pornography/resources/god-supports-us


BETRAYAL TRAUMA/FAMILY SUPPORT:

Workbooks/Books:
  1. Healing Through Christ Family Support Workbook - religious quotes and scriptures and good therapy info on boundaries, gaslighting, etc. (ebook or physical copy) Healingthroughchrist.org
  2. What Can I Do About Me? By Rhyll Croshaw (book)
  3. "Moving Beyond Betrayal" by Vicki Tidwell (covers boundaries)
    1. Vickitidwellpalmer.com/partners-addicts-empathy/
  4. "The Body Keeps the Score" book by Bessel Van Der Kolk about trauma; how to heal from it
  5. Facing Heartbreak: Steps to Recovery for Partners of Sex Addicts (Workbook on Amazon)
  6. Co-Dependent No More by Melody Beattie
  7. Wired for Love about relationships and attachment theory by Stan Tatkin
  8. Book: How Alanon Works for Families Friends of Alcoholics  the “original roots” of where our support group started; one of the podcasts really recommended this to best understand our own church program
  9. Book: "Hold Me Tight" - marriage strengthening
  10. Book: "Getting the Love You Want" - marriage strengthening 
  11. Book: "Intimate Deception" by Sheri Keffer 
  12. Book: Worthy of Her Trust: What You Need to Do to Rebuild Sexual Integrity and Win Her Back

Programs:
  1. SA Lifeline – online 12 step meetings using S-Anon recovery books salifeline.org
  2. BloomforWomen.com – infidelity trauma healing, great courses, online forum
  3. W.O.R.T.H (Women of Rebirth Therapeutic Healing) FREE online group therapy for 2 hours each week, LDS based. https://www.lifechangingservices.org/
  4. Betrayal Trauma Recovery- btr.org, support group and coaches ($)
  5. BE BOLD with Jody Moore is an excellent Life Coaching resource as well
  6. WORTH Life Changing Services provides free six month peer groups https://lifechangingservices.online/worth/
Podcasts:
  1. The Betrayed, The Addicted, The Expert podcast https://www.betrayedaddictedexpert.com/podcast
  2. Vicki Tidwell Palmer’s website : https://vickitidwellpalmer.com/blog/, podcast (Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries) 
  3. Betrayal Trauma Recovery podcast https://oversight.today/support-spouse-porn-addict/ how to support the spouse of a porn addict
  4. Illuminate Podcast: Shining Light on the Darkness of Pornography (LDS therapist) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/illuminate-podcast-shining-light-on-darkness-pornography/id1290359940
  5. Better Than Happy Podcast by Jody Moore is an excellent Life Coaching resource as well
  6. iseeyou podcasts Episode 31, 32, 33, 53: Real story of a young couple: hope in recovery

Articles:
  1.  https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/sex-addiction-coping-partners-relapse coping with a relapse as a partner
  2. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/new-era/2015/10/recovering-from-the-trap-of-pornography?lang=eng  by Dallin H. Oaks - Levels of Involvement Defined
  3. Boundaries, Standards and Needs   https://realizeunlimited.com/standards-and-boundaries/
  4. "3 Biggest Mistakes Betrayed Partners Make Creating Boundaries: https://vickitidwellpalmer.com/3-biggest-mistakes-betrayed-partners-make-creating-boundaries/
  5. Establishing Safety and Starting Healing from Betrayal Trauma https://www.addorecovery.com/betrayal-trauma/starting-healing-from-betrayal-trauma-establishing-safety
  6. An example of a Couples Boundaries Contract: https://betrayaltraumatohealingandjoy.com/couples-boundaries-contract/
  7. Why Betrayal Can Cause Trauma, Signs and How to Start Healing; Signs  https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/betrayal-trauma#signs-and-symptoms
  8. Married to a Sex Addict - 16 Healthy Relationship Tips: https://lifestartherapy.com/16-important-relationship-tips-when-married-to-a-sex-addict/
  9. Be 100% Responsible: https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/lynn-g-robbins/be-100-percent-responsible/
  10. Betrayal Trauma Stages of Grief: https://lifechangingservices.online/worth/betrayal-trauma-stages-of-grief/
  11. The ONE Belief Every Betrayed Partner Must Embrace (infidelity is not a reflection on you)  https://vickitidwellpalmer.com/one-thought-every-betrayed-partner-must-embrace/

  12. Article: Betrayal Trauma living in the gap between yesteday and tomorrow https://www.c-sasi.org/news/lward-betrayal-trauma-living-in-gap
  13. Article: Starting healing from betrayal trauma; establishing safety https://www.addorecovery.com/betrayal-trauma/starting-healing-from-betrayal-trauma-establishing-safety

FOR THE ADDICT*:

Programs (paid & otherwise):
  1. Men of Moroni, a paid program to overcome pornography and sexual addiction, LDS based (they also have a program from teenage boys/missionary age – Sons of Helaman) https://www.lifechangingservices.org/
  2. The Path Back: Faith Based Recovery Program – online, self-guided exercises for recovery- pathbackrecovery.com/
  3. Free 75 day addiction recovery email program – addorecovery.com/resources/sexual-addiction
  4. SA Lifeline – free men’s online 12 step group using Sexaholics Anonymous materials
  5. Trust Building Bootcamp with Geoff Steurer $$  qualified/therapist. Seems to run his own 12 step program for addicts. 
  6. https://www.drdougweiss.com/product/helping-her-heal-dvd/  Paid video presentation


Books:
  1. “Like Dragons Did They Fight” book by Maurice Harker- LDS principles 
  2. "He Restoreth My Soul" - Donald Hilton, LDS Doctor - great book for addict and partner 
PodCasts:
  1. Porn Free Radio podcast – non-LDS tips on quitting a porn addiction
  2. 12 Steps to Change (aka The Next Step Podcast) – 2 LDS guys talking about addiction recovery. Lots of helpful “ask the addict” segments.
  3. The Betrayed, The Addicted, The Expert podcast
  4. Leading Saints Podcast (specifically: The Bishop’s strongest Tools to Help Addicts, One Couple’s Journey Through Sexual Addiction, Wild at Heart in Church Leadership, “The Atonement Works for Me”: One Couple’s Recovery from Sex Addiction, The Transformational Power of the Addiction Recovery Program”)
  5. Unashamed Unafraid Podcast (LDS perspective) 
  6. The Virtual Couch Podcast (LDS and local therapist, Tony Overbay) specifically episodes 13, 22, 27, 85
  7. Like Dragons Did They Fight podcast (LDS)
  8. emotionalaffair.org Understanding your Loyal Spouse   - podcast and pdf, evidently
Videos:
  1. "Your Brain on Porn" - Gary Wilson, scientific look at porn and what happens in the brain (maybe good for someone who doesn't think they have a problem?)
    1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLtSoWrEplM  this is one informal view of his 
*recommend all these podcasts and books for the partner too as there are a lot of good, hopeful stories and information.

Articles:
  1. Why service critical for success for the addict: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/can_helping_others_keep_you_sober


Other:

  1. LDS artist J Kirk Richards: He’s been experimenting with figure drawing as a way to combat the ill effects pornography has on the brain.





Therapists in greater Sacramento, CA: 
CSAT (Certified Sex Addiction Therapists) -helpful for spouse or addict

Judith C. Kelly, LCSW, CSAT
411 Oak Street, Roseville, CA 95678
916-783-3420
www. judithckelly.com

Leslie Haws LMFT, CSAT 916.728.5433 2377 Gold Meadow Way, Suite 100, Gold River http://lifestarsacramento.org/ Sex Addiction

Grant Garrett LMFT, CSAT 916.365.3200 520 Plaza Dr. Suite 140, Folsom http://www.healingpathcounseling.org/ Sex Addiction
Eileen DeGruccio LMFT, CSAT 916.728.5433 2377 Gold Meadow Way, Suite 100, Gold River http://lifestarsacramento.org/ Sex Addiction